Progress

I am pleased to say that I have progressed from where I was holding last time with my shiatsu. Last Friday I actually was paired up with the same man whom I traded with at the last class, who complained that I had worked on him with too much pressure. He was actually reluctant, to my embarrassment, to be treated by me again, but went ahead without too much trouble. This time, though, he said afterwards that I’d improved greatly. When I asked him about the treatment itself, he said “it was perfect”. I was really happy to see the vitality in him as he got up when we finished . I have received other very positive feedback since then as well- one person told me I gave them the best they’d had from anyone in the class!
We are now progressing in our intial routine that we are learning from the back to the side of the body. I have found it stimulating and challenging, as it adds a lot of “cool moves”. I find that after giving shiatsu I myself feel so phenomenal- really grounded, flowing, peaceful. It allows certain “juices” to flow that don’t often have an outlet in my life, and it’s very rewarding to experience that. I haven’t had the good fortune of ever receiving shiatsu yet from a really experienced and talented practitioner, but I hope to when I have the extra money.

The theory part of the class last week was the beginning of our entrance into 5 element theory. I feel a bit ahead of the class from the reading I’d done before signing up (I purchased and read through the whole textbook by Carola Beresford-Cooke as well as Between Heaven and Earth before the class even started). Nonetheless, it was news to most of the class. I have to say that I think the psychological and mind-body connections and implications of Shiatsu fascinate me more than anything else about it.

In the middle of this part of the class, my teacher mentioned in passing an example of this from one of her clients she’d had here in Israel. She said that one of her clients, a woman, had lost a son in the army. From the time her son was killed, her menstrual cycle had stopped completely, and wouldn’t return. In this case, her grief was so deep that her physical fertility had stopped functioning- the loss of the product of that process within her, and of so many years of love and nurturing, was too painful to sustain.

Now, the mind-body connection in this case is clear. When I heard this though, it struck me very deeply- I almost started crying in the middle of the course room. I think that through learning this art, and by hopefully working with people in the future, I’ll be seeing a vulnerability in people that is very sacred and occasionally very sad. I know that to be an effective therapist, one needs to master the balance between compassion and detachment, and I suspect that this will be an important theme for me going forward.

There is a story about Rabbi Nachman of Breslov, of blessed memory. One of his grandchildren was very ill with one of the dangerous illnesses that were common in Eastern Europe at the time. He felt tremendous anguish from the child’s suffering. His anguish was so acute that finally one of his chassidim asked him why he was suffering so much. He replied, “Originally, people would come to me with their problems, and sometimes I would feel nothing at all. But I would beg G-d that I should be able to feel their pain. Eventually, I reached the point that I would feel more pain than the person themself who had come! Sometimes, a person may be successful at distracting themself from and forgetting their own suffering and pain. But I feel it completely”.

This story illustrates an important concept that is also stressed elsewhere in Rabbi Nachman’s teachings- that it is only appropriate to attempt to influence people or to accept a role of leadership when that leadership is rooted in compassion- as it says in the Prophets, “והמרחמם ינהגם”- “and the one who has compassion on them (or, “who loves them”) will lead them”. Now, he goes on to emphasize that good intentions aren’t enough- but rather that is the starting point. A person then needs to have awareness, knowledge, and understanding, in order to make sure that whatever is being given is really right for the receiver! It is possible with the best intention to nonetheless harm someone by not giving them what they really need (he gives the example of feeding an infant adult food, instead of milk).

In the example from Rabbi Nachman, he wanted to feel people’s pain in order that he’d be able to pray for them and spiritually advocate for them, with greater sincerity and determination. How does this compare to what a Shiatsu practitioner does, or the therapist/client relationship? This question in general is something I’ve been thinking a lot about. And if in fact it is detachment that is needed here, how does one not occasionally cry, for example, when seeing someone’s true vulnerability laid out before them?

I have also been thinking a lot about the way that Judaism understands the structure of the soul (animal and G-dly) in relation to the Chinese view of Zang Fu, Chi, the Shen, etc. I actually spent some time going through different Torah books (Hebrew) that I have looking for points of distinction on this topic. It is really a post- or possibly more than a post- on it’s own, but I will G-d willing be writing about it at some point going forward. From this intersection of these worldviews I am in the process of coming to clarity in this- of exactly what role Shiatsu and similar therapies can play in the context of Avodas Hashem, the service of Hashem, from a Jewish perspective. In a nutshell, I believe that Shiatsu can help in the finding of balance in the guf(physical body) and nefesh(”lower level” of the soul, that is associated with a person’s psychological and emotional health)- which can help make a welcoming space for the divine soul to then dwell in, and express itself in the world.

On a psychological level, this means going from seeing reality through distorted lenses to clear ones. The glasses need to be clear- i.e. we need to be not unintentionally imposing ourselves on what we are seeing, in order to perceive truth as it really is. I believe this is paralleled by the Oriental ideal of being able to react in one’s life as the still pond that perfectly radiates rings after a stone is tossed in- it reacts to what is there, nothing more, nothing less. Or is that a Buddhist idea? When a person has reached such non-attachment, in any case, they are then free to act in accordance with higher truth. It is then that for Jews, say, the Torah can really be observed as it really is, and a person can emulate Hashem in truth in their character traits and actions. But really, all this requires far more care and thought to write about than I can muster right now.

I am getting a new laptop soon that my in laws will be bringing with them when they visit around Chanukah, when we are expecting our second child G-d willing. I hope that I’ll be able to put some of my travelling time to good use by writing blog posts! To those of you that have been reading or commenting, I really appreciate your taking the time. May we all hear only good news in the coming weeks.

The bad news this week

I just wrote half a post, then erased it, not sure whether this was an appropriate forum to discuss the following in depth. I am going to make a short post about this, then another about normal Shiatsu stuff.

My wife’s cousin’s 13 year old son, Yehoshua, survived a terrible car accident this week. Despite many broken bones, etc., he is (incredibly) intact and coherent, and should be able to recover. He was however the only survivor in the car and has experienced severe trauma. Anyone who wants to add him to their prayers, his Hebrew name is Yehoshua Shlomo Peretz ben Hindy. Whatever your religious persuasion, or even if none at all, any good deed or coin given to charity dedicated to, or prayer for his speedy recovery, physical and emotional is deeply, deeply appreciated.

Rabbi Dessler writes in his work Michtav M’Eliyahu (A Letter from Eliyahu) that in the Heavenly Court, such deeds can really make a significant impact for a person in trouble. The logical reason for this, he explains, is that if it you hadn’t heard about this person and their story, if they hadn’t had this influence on your life however small, then this deed wouldn’t have been done. Therefore, they share the merit of that thing. This is the reason for so many customs of the sort in the Jewish tradition.

This terrible event has obviously shaken up my family a great deal this week. Even at the distance that I am, I am deeply affected by it. I decided after having written a lot more about it before that this blog isn’t the right forum for this topic. But I didn’t feel I could write about anything else without at least mentioning this, and if he and his family can be in your thoughts or prayers, I deeply appreciate it.

Clarification- no one else from their family was in the car. He had caught a ride with other friends of his, and one of their older brothers who was driving. All the people were however from the same small community.

A new post

I am sorry I haven’t posted anything new in the last few days- I have been extremely busy, not even having time to respond to friend’s emails. I am thinking about new posts though all the time- when I finally write a real post, it will be a good one! I’m really tired though at the moment. Just wanted to show some sign of life .

A life that encompasses all being

“There is nothing useful in a doubting stubbornness that bitterly says that it will set meaningless conditions upon which to build its pillars so as to [understand] God and His world, [a stance] that stubbornly demands to find comfort, a solution, precisely in this small flash of the life of the senses, of the circumscribed flesh and spirit, in this temporary life that passes like a fleeting shadow.

That is not the way. [It is true that] the [incomplete] part is important and worthy, the flesh is refined and beloved, and the spirit awakens and arises.

But all of these attain their greatness, their radiance, [only] when they yearn radiantly [as they face] the center of the course of their being, which is given prominence only because it has been carved out in a divine manner, only [because it derives] from the divine source that the holy people of the world—the champions of supernal ethics, the lions of justice and truth, the kings of faith and simple-heartedness, the rulers of life and conquerors of death, who ride the heights of existence—with their intellect and feeling, with a mighty spirit that is the holy of holies, which peals before them like a bell, in the thunder of their might that transcends all boundaries of time and place free themselves and the entire world together with them from narrow obligations and constrained boundaries.”

http://wingsofmorning.wordpress.com/2007/11/07/in-a-life-that-encompasses-all-being/

Cure for everything

“Behold, for peace I had great bitterness (Isaiah 38:17). Just as all cures require bitter remedies, so does peace, which is a cure for everything. [As the Prophet Isaiah also states,] “Peace, peace to the far and near, says G-d, and I will heal him” (Isaiah 57:19) (Likutei Moharan I, 7:7).

Opening up and letting go

The 3rd Shiatsu class last night was both unsuccessful and profoundly beneficial at the same time. To back up a bit first- it was last week, at the 2nd class, that we started learning the first part of a basic treatment routine and practicing on each other. I traded with 3 different partners throughout the class, and thoroughly enjoyed the experience. I found it interesting at the time that a common piece of feedback that I got was that I was applying more pressure than needed. So this time around, I was specifically careful of that, and tried to be much gentler.

So I was very surprised when my partner offered the same complaint after I treated him this week! In addition, I felt more physically uncomfortable this time- I had a hard time getting into the “shiatsu mode” and my legs hurt a lot as I kneeled during the treatment. But I was still really surprised to hear that my partner was experiencing pressure from me, when I was specifically trying to do the opposite.

I mentioned this to one of the teaching assistants, and he told me, “it’s because you aren’t working enough with your breath. You have to breath fully and deeply as you work, and then it will feel more gentle to him”. The problem was, that I am aware of this and was really trying to relax as much as possible as I worked, and it apparently wasn’t working.

What I found was that as much as I intended to be present in what I was doing with the shiatsu, I wasn’t able to fully let go of the mindset and stress I still had from work. When I tried to deliberately take deep, relaxed and full breaths, I was physically unable. It was as though something in me were clenched and wouldn’t let go. Because I brought this internal pressure into the treatment, unintentionally, it was inevitable that my partner experienced excess pressure from my touch. It was direct feedback on my inner state, which was coming through the treatment, despite my best efforts to the contrary.

Somewhat frustrated, I asked the same assistant, “I am aware that this is an important issue in general, but how can I practically make that separation when I come to class? I really tried to do it this time!”

He replied that I unique times in my day, on a break at work for example, or even in the bathroom, to make a conscious separation from anything else that there is going and  just create empty space for myself. In the case of the class, I could try to arrive a few minutes earlier just to do this. I needed to make a boundary for myself to breathe in.

I have really found this very striking, as this whole issue is a tactile reminder of a pattern that has actually affected my whole life for many years.

While we haven’t gotten to them in class yet, and I’m pretty confident that if I asked I would be discouraged from exploring it yet, I have already read quite a bit about the different meridians in shiatsu and chinese medicine, and their psychological and physical significance within those systems. It was really only because I found the system of Zen Shiatsu so compelling intellectually and intuitively that I signed up for a class in it in the first place. Anyway, one of the meridians is associated with the Large Intestine. In Zen shiatsu this meridian is associated both with the physical Large Intestine, as well as with the psychological and emotional processes that parallel it’s function in the body- namely, the processes of letting go and elimination, which create space for movement and new intake.

It appears that I have a chronic weakness in this meridian. Why do I think so? The truth is, it isn’t a coincidence that this issue specifically- the inability to let go of the rest of my day when I was treating in class- came up now. In fact, I have experienced this as a larger pattern in my life for years.

For years I have felt emotionally like I’m perpetually in motion, “schlepping”. This came across I’m sure 2 posts ago as well. I go, and go, and go. And I find it really hard to relax. Usually when I do something to relax, it doesn’t relax me. Often on Shabbos, I will feel anxious, or even get into an argument with my wife, and I won’t even understand what is bothering me- but I’ll just feel restless and uncomfortable. I frequently feel mild pain in my digestive system or constipation from stress. Most of this stuff has been going on for years.

Now what this all really points to is a general pattern of imbalance in my life. It is also self-perpetuating. For example, I started becoming more Jewishly observant 4-5 years ago. Generally, I have learned a great deal and perform mitzvos happily and conscientiously. But for some reason the act of getting up in the morning to go to shul(synagogue) in particular has always, always been seemingly unattainable with any consistency for me. I go sometimes, but more often I don’t. Now, I always daven(pray)- I don’t skip davening. But I frequently don’t make it to shul. Instead, I will daven on the bus, or at home.

There are 2 reasons that this is clearly connected in my mind. One, is that I have a hard time getting up in the morning. I tend to feel heavy and exhausted, and don’t want to face my day. Once I get going I feel fine, and when I do just get up and go I generally feel great. But I always struggle with the feeling of heaviness or dread in the morning. Now really, that is exactly what it is, heaviness. By experiencing life as consisting of burden after burden, pain after pain- and not easily feeling nourished or peaceful, and almost never experiencing personal space- מנוח – it IS exhausting!

The other reason- which also shows that this is self-perpetuating as well- is that shul is a special place in my day, where the time is there just for me and G-d. It is empty of anything else. I always feel space in shul (assuming it’s a good minyan). When I daven on the bus, it’s not terrible, but it’s more schlepping! It’s doing it in motion, I lack the space and the peace that comes with being in shul- there’s no space to breathe with what I am doing. It is the difference, to compare, between scarfing down a sandwich and coffee and work while you’re at your desk and in the middle of other things, and sitting in a calm, peaceful place, and deliberately and consciously eating your lunch, slowly and with relaxed joy and satisfaction. It is known that the first scenario is bad for one’s health in general. The second scenario describes the way I often do almost everything.

And really, all of this is all about breath. I realized it this evening. Near where I work there is a wonderful, small Sephardi shul where most of the men in my office attend Mincha and Maariv back to back (the afternoon and evening prayers, respectively). It is mostly a “working class” shul- with the beautiful, tremendous sincerity and respect that the Sephardi tradition has for tefillah (prayer) in general. I find the ancient, rising and falling chanting of the blessings and biblical verses between the prayers hypnotic and captivating. When I am there, I always feel,  but especially noticed today- that while at first when I arrive, I am usually very wound up and in “work” mode from my job, I gradually relax as the davening progresses. It’s like the beautiful, strong voice of the shliach tzibur (prayer leader) melts through my tension, and I experience this physically- I not start feeling emotional space and relief, but as I relax my stomach usually starts gurgling as things start moving in my digestive system again, freed by the evaporation of tension.

It was this familiar experience tonight that made me realize what I am missing with my current morning habits and how much that contributes to my general state of being.

In order to share some sense of how this may have developed- I basically spent many years of my life, in a lot of different ways, taking one emotional blow after the other. My parents divorced when I was 5 with recurring hostility between them. I always had to deal with the social consequences of having Tourette’s syndrome (various primarily physical involuntary tics)- often when people were nice to me, it was only for the purpose of mocking me, and in middle school, it wasn’t uncommon that I’d be physically attacked. There was the stress of having each divorced parent move repeatedly, and almost never feeling settled or stable. In high school (I went to a very small boarding school- only slightly more than 200 students), I remember when a very popular 16 year old girl was killed in a car crash; I already felt so backed up emotionally at the time that I couldn’t deal with going to the memorial ceremony- I just didn’t know how to cope, I thought I would go to pieces.

Then, after a summer of backpacking in Europe post high-school I came back to my grandmother, whom I loved dearly, sick with Leukemia. The day after I arrived, I was the one alone with her when she passed away, as I held her hand. And only 2 weeks after that, I was in Wisconsin, yet another totally new place, to start college. It was really only then that I started acknowledging the numbness and disconnect I was experiencing and started looking for healing for myself.

I experienced so many different things in such a relatively short amount of time, that I wasn’t able to emotionally process everything. Over time, it started to back up. In addition, my instinct at times of crisis was always to try to protect and take care of the other people around me- and I often did so at the cost of acknowledging or even fully experiencing my own grief and pain. Grief for a lost home and family, grief for people I’d loved and lost, for all the different things I’d been attached to and lost in my life.

Not surprisingly, the Large Intestine meridian is associated with the Metal element in 5 element theory. The emotion associated with that element is grief.

I see the cumulative effect of all this as having impacted me physically over time. And NOW, when there are so many tremendous and wonderful things in my life that I love-  a truly interesting and exciting job, an incredible and loving wife, amazing, loving friends, the incredible gift of living in the land of Israel, the land of my soul- the priceless gift of having spent more than 3 years in yeshiva learning Torah- and there is so much more- far too often I am unable to experience these blessings for what they really are. For I am still living this pattern of being blocked up and not letting go, and it interferes with my ability to open up, experience new things, be fully present and to BREATH. I have spent the last 4 years on a giant leap of faith, and have “made it” in so many ways- I now have the life I always wanted. But I need to be able to let go, in order to feel it- to feel the love that is there, the good that is there.

There is such profundity in the patterns in a person’s life if we look at it right, and it is part of the Jewish tradition that there is no divine providence anywhere in the world like there is here in Israel. When it is time for a new direction, the messages come from everywhere.

I now have, in a most tangible way, this barrier to my progression in learning Shiatsu. If I want to move forward and succeed in being a healer, the only way is to finally become fully conscious of this pattern of inbalance I have had for so long- and let it go. Thank G-d for the opportunity.

Time to look up at the sky

“When you look outside, what do you see? The market, wagons, horses, people- all running in different directions. Fifty years from now this market will be completely different. There will be different horses and wagons, different merchandise and different people. I will no longer be here and you will no longer be here.

So let me ask you as you stand here now- how can you be so busy and preoccupied that you don’t even have time to look up at the sky?”
-Rabbi Nachman of Breslov

(thanks to A Simple Jew for the idea of posting quotes)

Erev Shabbos

I am finally home after a long schlep. I had my weekly Anatomy and Physiology class this morning at 8:15 in the city (the hebrew is killing me), so I slept over at my brother in-law’s apartment instead of going all the way home (north of the city, 45 minute bus ride). I made the class, but it’s a very tiring stretch, to say the least, as I got up at around 6:30ish on Wednesday, went to work and basically have been busy doing “stuff” until finally now, erev Shabbos, I can stop for awhile. Not being home it’s hard to let myself relax. I know I am overworked when I start to feel tension in my stomach and weak and depleted in general.

I have really had a good time however since posting last night, as the subject matter stayed and danced in my imagination. Today as I studied the Chok l’Yisrael (sefer comprised of selections from all areas of Torah, arranged by day according to the parsha) I saw so many connections with the topic in general. Maybe when I get the chance I’ll post some more about that. There was one comment of Rashi in particular, as well as the selection from the Zohar, that seems to be very connected with what I posted about.

Rabbi Nachman of Breslov taught that it’s very beneficial to come up with original ideas and insights in Torah, and to apply one’s imagination to it. This serves to purify the faculty of imagination, which is so easily subverted by the yetzer hara.

I’m looking forward to having time to spend with my wife and daughter, now that it’s almost Shabbos. I recently started a new job in Jerusalem that requires a longer commute than my old job did. It isn’t actually that far physically, but since I live at the very beginning of our local bus line, it takes time to wind through our yishuv and get into the city. I don’t have a car. I then need to take a second bus to get to where I work, downtown. The commute seems to average about an hour and twenty minutes. I usually put in at least 8 hours at work, as we need the money at this point, and also daven Mincha and Maariv, which adds another 45 minutes, so with the commute I usually don’t get home until pretty late. I feel terrible when I don’t see my daughter at night. I hear from my wife that she asks about me and I feel so bad. Usually I make it though just before she goes to sleep. I am hoping that going forward I can find a way to either set my hours creatively or arrange some work that I can do from home, in order that I can be home more hours of the day.

I am really looking forward now to Shabbos, in particular the songs that I hear (and sing) at the tish I usually go to on Friday nights. They are so soothing at the end of the week, and usually it’s the time when I’m able to finally feel myself just letting go of all the noise, movement and schlepping of the week. It’s such a wonderful feeling, when the tangible realization that “THERE IS NOTHING ELSE TO DO, AND NO WHERE ELSE YOU HAVE TO GO” creeps over me. I’m a busy guy, and it’s so good just to sit and feel the rest of Shabbos.

I really have felt quite good since writing yesterday, and I think blogging might very well be good for my mental health. I don’t know if anyone is reading yet, but if you are, please leave comments! I am looking forward to finding my voice and interacting with people here. I hope that you find something for yourself as well. To any and all, Shabbat Shalom.

Judaism and Chinese philosophy

Last Sunday night I had my second class of the Zen Shiatsu course I’m enrolled in. Of course you might be thinking, “Zen Shiatsu? What kind of a subject is that for a nice religious guy like yourself!”

While I’d be lying to say that such sentiment has never crossed my mind as well, I do feel a sense of purpose in doing this. I am mostly just doing it for myself. I want to feel more at home in my body- I want to be able to move with my heart. I am a very intuitive person and I can feel a lot from other people when I open myself to it; I want to develop that and see where it takes me. I have always wanted, in the larger picture of my life, to be a healer, though that doesn’t need to fit into any specific context. This is a very direct expression of that, the most so I’ve ever had. I was drawn specifically to Zen Shiatsu because it’s so much an extension of one’s self- the whole concept of the movement, and the power of the treatment comes is deeply rooted in the essence of the giver. All the movements are based in the belly. It feels very familiar to me. I am generally in a process of learning to open up and experience more in my life, to express myself and be more emotionally honest and alive- I need to shake off many years of fear and feeling stifle to just be.

So here I am, to paint the scene, sitting in the course-room with a bunch of other Israelis, there are a handful of other observant Jews in the room, most not. Some people who have been to India, or other places, into eastern religions, etc. I am the only one in the class in black pants and a white shirt for sure (everyone remembers my name .

I actually find the whole clothing thing to be mostly irrelevant, though there are obviously reasons I dress the way I do. I don’t generally think very highly of the unfortunately pervasive “chitzonius”, or superficiality that exists in this country between the “religious” and “non-religious”, and within their subgroups. But that is another post maybe for the future. There are some great people in my class.

I felt a vague uneasiness after the class, even though I felt phenomenal after we practiced on each other. It wasn’t until a full day later with the help of a perceptive friend that I realized what was bothering me.

In the first half of the class, the teacher lectured on the concept of Yin and Yang, the 2 basic polarities found in everything in the universe in chinese thought. Now this concept has great value and truth to it. This relativity does exist between so many things, and it really is possible to see it almost anywhere. In practice it has amazing benefits for a person’s health, and for finding balance in life in general.

What was difficult for me was that everything she was saying was so obviously rooted in the Torah, but that there was no awareness of this (apparently) amongst anyone else in the class. The Torah includes all of these things. Which is not to say that everything in any given world philosophy is included in the Torah, G-d forbid. But rather that there are points of truth can be and are found scattered across different cultures and civilizations, and these points of truth are ultimately rooted in and included in the Torah.

With Yin and Yang, it is right there in Ma’aseh Breishis, the Torah’s account of creation.
ברישית ברה אלקים את השמים ואת הארץ

“In the beginning Hashem created the heavens and the earth”.

If you pay attention, Hashem creates opposites. Heavens and Earth. Land and ocean. Day and Night. It goes on. Furthermore, according to the Ran, a medieval commentator on the Talmud and one of the great lights of Jewish history, originally Hashem created an initial basic matter. From that matter He proceeded to split into divisions.

Initially, the most drastic division is made- the total separation between heaven and earth. We don’t always realize it, but for us today these are relative poles- but there is great connection, influence and movement between them. At this point in the creation, though, it was an utter separation. Then, the division between “tohu vavohu”, total desolation, emptiness and chaos, and the “spirit of G-d” that hovered above the waters. As the creation process continues, these extreme opposites slowly draw nearer to each other again. Throughout the creation, Hashem takes these opposing poles and slowly brings the opposites closer together, though the polarity remains.

Ultimately, only a small distance remains between the two aspects. At that point, Hashem creates Adam. Then Adam is split into Male and Female. This final remaining space- the space between them- is what was entrusted to humankind in Gan Eden as our share in completing the creation. Even after the fact, this is the sod(secret) of the Cherubim, and of the various midrashim that describe Hashem and the Jewish people in terms of masculine and feminine.

Of course, Adam and Eve failed their test. So what would have been right then a complete tikkun, instead became a lot more chaos in the world. There was a shattering of the vessels, and we are trying to put the pieces back together to this day. And sometimes we may even find one of them, say, in Chinese philosophy. But the purpose remains, that the ultimate context of all of this is to finally bind all opposites together and complete the bridge, which is when there will be a wondrous peace in the world. It is ultimately through the mitzvos of the Torah, now, that that connection is made. Human beings stand between heaven and earth, and have in our hands to create peace and unity between them or G-d forbid to drive them further apart. But the essence is restoring balance to all the disharmony and chaos in the creation.

So when I am learning Shiatsu, I see it as contributing to this. While it is not a mitzvah, per se, nonetheless the process of finding harmony and balance in oneself and facilitating that process in others is part of the tikkun.

This is the most profound context of Judaism. So how sad it is to see these beautiful Jewish kids sitting here hearing about Yin and Yang and being totally enthralled by it, thrilled by this foreign wisdom tradition while remaining totally ignorant of the incredible profundity that is their birthright and is sealed in their soul.

That aspect of it is really sad. It’s also that dissonance that left me with a subtly unclean feeling after the class. But I hope that my presence will still have a good effect. I am hoping maybe I’ll have a chance to speak a little (in Hebrew) about some of this stuff with people in the class, but we’ll see. I continue to love what I am learning for myself- with the peel dealt with the fruit is very sweet.

There is more that could be said, but it’s enough for now. It’s getting late, and I have a falafel to buy and a bus to catch.

Starting in the middle

After pondering the thought of starting a proper blog for quite some time I’ve finally gone ahead and created this one. It’s more than likely that I’ll be playing around with the format, name, and other things, but I mainly just want the forum for writing, reflection and honest self-expression. I think there are enough interesting things going on in my life worth writing about that it should be good.

Ever thought about things that seemed very important or interesting to you, and wondered whether they would be significant to others as well? Ever wondered whether your personal reflections on things really were a unique perspective, or just vain imagining? Well I have and do. So here will be a space for that stuff. My first post will probably be a reflection on my first classes in Shiatsu and different impressions and thoughts I’ve had revolving around that.

You’ll have to forgive me for any stiffness in writing early on. G-d willing I’ll get more comfortable as I write. I am in the process of learning how to be myself, and to live more from the heart. I hope this forum will be good for this purpose, as well as for anyone reading. I’m looking forward to it.